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FIELDNOTES

by Ego Ella May

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Gíque
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Gíque I appreciate her soulful tracks, very thought provoking in a very good way. Favorite track: Breathe.
mattogravy
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mattogravy I have to buy any album that contains such beauty, positivity & nihilism in the same breath. Our breath is short and fast, like our time in the universe.
nvan92
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nvan92 I hate filling this out because I LOVED EVERY SONG. Speck of Dust is the fav because the first time I heard it, I was drawn to the beat (which made me download a Flower Chyld album) and then the lyrics - though a bit depressing - were stuck in my head. I love the inflection choices in here, like how her voice soars high (gives some air allowing the words to carry) then she sinks low on the line "still on a search for more reason/ still have to pick myself up." Favorite track: Speck Of Dust w/ Flwr Chyld.
emmavie100
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emmavie100 We don’t deserve Ego Ella May. Another masterpiece!
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1.
Breathe 03:30
V1 Maybe I can’t write no more Maybe I’ll spend the rest of my days doing savasana on the floor Maybe I will have to draw For old poems I don’t know if I still got it Anymore Pre ‘cause I feel pressure that I put on myself self-imposed pressure and I need to be held and shaken to wake me up awaken see just how amazing it is to be alive here, to survive here it is to be alive here, to survive here Chorus Who says I need to do anything, I could just breathe, take it all in (x2) V2 My capitalist mindset, Has got me feeling I’m not winning If I prioritise rest. My confidante Ahmed Told me to try renewing my mind, Reset Pre ‘cause I feel pressure that I put on myself self-imposed pressure don’t come from no one else I need help To forgive myself Awaken See just how amazing It is to be alive here, To survive here Chorus x4
2.
YoYo 03:05
Verse 1 
Will we just keep on going 'til they say stop?
 cos when I start to question you'll say that's enough
 well I've been digging lately
 and shit don't add up
 but we just keep on going on 
yeah we just keep on going on 

pre-hook 
from one thing until it's another 
it's profitable when we suffer
 get us to turn on each other 
flip the story to cover-up 
so we do not discover
 the lies I guess I look crazy
 my lover keeps tell me 'baby,
 give it a rest don't make me
 question the system that made me 
look in the mirror and not see it 

chorus
 like a yoyo 
I know and then I don't know
 and the green grass keeps calling me

 verse 2
 I'm thankful for my sisters
 who let me vent
 about this dream to live off grid
 grow my own veg 
trade my iPhone for a brick though 
I just need texts
 think that will keep me going
 yeah that will keep me going

 pre-hook 
I would wake up with the sunrise
 give thanks for freedom of mind
 learn Erykah's 'next lifetime'
on my guitar, I got time
 read 'the bell jar', I might cry
 in a good way for once 
it's a good thing because 
I'm free to live like I really want
 no more agendas being pushed to the front 
of my eyes, my mind 

chorus

 outro
 like a yoyo
 I know and then I don't know 
I'm sure and then I'm not sure
 but the only thing I'm sure of is 
I'm gonna runaway and build a tiny house 
it will be rent free 
I'll build a community
 we'll make our own clothes
 there won't be a TV
 we will think freely
 do you wanna come with me?
3.
4.
Still on a search for more meaning Still have to pick myself up Still finding words for these feelings Leaving space to see what will come up Oh I don’t wanna feel so bad Sick of writing songs like that I wanna fly to a retreat Verocai on repeat Lose my mind for a week Recognise I’m… Just a speck of dust So why should I worry? Why do I worry? When I’m just a speck of dust

about

'Fieldnotes refer to qualitative notes recorded by scientists or researchers in the course of field research, during or after their observation of a specific organism or phenomenon they are studying. ... Fieldnotes allow the researcher to access the subject and record what they observe in an unobtrusive manner.'
These 4 songs were written in lockdown and became my findings about myself during such a weird and confusing time. I was observing what was going on, and writing about it for my own sanity and as usually these songs helped me to understand myself a lot better and cope with what was going on. This EP is the first in the series of releases coming over the following months.

1. Breathe
It's funny because the song order is the order in which the songs were actually written. I remember writing this song in the peak of the first lockdown because it felt like everywhere I looked people were trying to make the most of being in a global pandemic. It was their opportunity to realise their dreams!! write a novel, make the best banana bread, get fit, and not let this precious time go to waste, and I was just bewildered because.. we're in a pandemic! no1 has a clue what's going on, and even now we are still trying to push ourselves to be working non-stop and on the grind. I thought if this time wasn't a call to rest then what was it gonna take?
I also wrote it because it seemed I was the only one who was doing nothing! I started to feel pressure to 'be someone' but then deepening my yoga practice helped me to realise that just being during this time is more than enough. I don't need to DO anything. I can simply observe, take my time, and breathe.
This is the first collab I did with Geo Jordan and it just felt so natural that we did another.. (yoyo)

2. YoYo
I wrote this because the media was pissing me off. I felt like a lot of things were being exaggerated which resulted in lots of fear and separation. I was still in a period where I didn't have an understanding of anything really going on and so my views changed daily and I was questioning everything.. it felt like I was doing a lot of yoyo-ing simply because I was so confused. I felt like an alien and in my annoyance about that I dreamt about living off grid, where there's no TV and no iPhone, I'm with like-minded people and we just grow our veg and make clothes, and cook and sing and dance and make up our own rules, and that's how yoyo came about. It's a song about my dream life. Aside from that I really love the production on this song! it's so feel good, and was produced once again by Geo Jordan.

3. I Feel Something
I wrote this song when I ran away to Margate for a few weeks to live by the sea during yet another lockdown. It was in February, it was cold, snowing, and everyone was miserable. I wanted to be on a beach somewhere but I felt trapped here. I ran away because I wanted to try something new, I actually took up running for a little while simply because for the most part I just felt numb and in a routine that was slowly killing my creative. So Eun (producer) sent me some stuff to work on and I freestyled this song and never changed it. The end of the song feels like a light at the end of the tunnel when I say 'somethings lit up, they won't get us' - I had gotten to the end of the song and felt like "ok, still got it!" because I hadn't recorded anything in a while.

4. Speck Of Dust
The last song I wrote for the EP, and a good closing song because it made me realise that I was no longer in that 'I feel something' headspace. The weather was getting warmer, and my mind was getting clearer and I suppose I was getting used to this 'new normal'. I'd survived a dark time! This song is about how miniscule your problems can be sometimes, in the grand scheme of life. I'm just a speck of dust in this really big world. An ant! and none of this matters- and I mean that in the best possible way! all of this will simply fade away, so why worry?? It made me feel good to think about life in that way..
I worked on this song with Flwr Chyld and I'm still so blown away by the production- it's one of my faves.

credits

released October 15, 2021

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Ego Ella May London, UK

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